When it comes to divorce, like everything else: preparation is key. Everyone knows that divorce can be extremely stressful. In fact, it’s one of life’s most traumatic events, just behind the death of a loved one. Focusing on the following tips will make the process much easier for you and your family.

1. Make sure your marriage is really over. It is not always clear when a marriage is over or whether it simply needs to be worked on. Disagreements in a marriage are normal and to be expected. In many instances, working closely with a family therapist or marriage counselor can shine light on work that needs to be done or make it clear that the marriage needs to end.

2. Become quickly familiar with your household finances. Before you meet with an attorney, it is strongly suggested that you become familiar with your household’s expenses together with the approximate amount of the assets and liabilities associated with you and your spouse. Make sure you know where the money is. Know the approximate amounts of the checking, savings and investment accounts. If possible, make sure that you can login to view the accounts online. Know how the real estate and vehicles are titled. Be familiar with 401(k) and pension plans. If your spouse historically has paid the bills, household expenses and handled the investing for your family, you need to become informed.

3. Interview attorneys. Once you’ve decided that you are going to file for divorce, you need to figure out which family law attorney you want to represent you. In nearly every situation, it makes sense to have a lawyer involved who is experienced in divorce litigation. Interview attorneys until you find one with whom you feel comfortable. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions. It is important that you understand how the lawyer will approach your case and which strategies will be used. Different attorneys will have different ways of billing you for their legal services so you will need to understand those differences. Many divorce attorneys offer free consultations. The right attorney will make everything easier for you.
If your marriage is very short in length and does not involve minor children, claims for spousal support (alimony), significant assets and liabilities or real property, you might consider filing for divorce yourself. However, having an attorney assist you will make the process faster and easier.

4. Make a plan. After you are familiar with your household financial picture and you’ve met with your attorney you can start to put together a plan for how your life will look like during and after your divorce. Remember, when you separate there will be separate expenses for housing, utilities and food that add up quickly. Think of it this way: You are taking one household and turning it into two. Figure out who is going to move out of the marital residence. If you have minor children, it is a good idea to consider what the timesharing (visitation) will look like. These days it is very common for judges in Florida to award substantial timesharing to both spouses unless doing so would be detrimental to the children.

5. Make sure that you have support. It is critical that you have support while you are going through your divorce. Make sure that you let your family and friends know that you will need help. “Help” can range from assistance with pick up and drop off of kids to simply lending a friendly ear. Your friends who have gone through divorce will have valuable information for you. Consider getting some therapy or joining a support group. Don’t do it alone.

With the right preparation and the right attorney for your needs, you can move through your divorce with dignity and grace. Focusing on the correct preparation before and during the divorce process will yield significant dividends for you and your family moving forward.